T.O’.S MOST WANTED FUGITIVES
DESCRIPTIONS
Name: Ruby Damage True identity: Unknown
Date/place of birth: Unknown Hair colour: Red
Weapons: Guitar, voice
Remarks: Known associate of the 01′ Dirty Bastard
Name: Kitten De Soto True identity: Unknown
Date/place of birth: Unknown Hair colour: Red
Weapons: Bass, voice
Remarks: Beware of “devil-sign” hand salute
Name: Zoe Inane True identity: Unknown
Date/place of birth: Unknown Hair colour: Red
Weapons: Drums, voice
Remarks: Will shove drumsticks up fanboys’ noses
CAUTION
These three fugitives, collectively known as “The Hassle,” are wanted for inflicting unnecessary noise upon the innocent civilians of the City ofToronto, composing gratuitously catchy songs in a
new wave-inspired garage pop style, leaving their basement rehearsal space before music industry taste arbiters deemed sufficient time to have elapsed, causing more experienced bands to “look bad” (both musically and visually), befuddling solipsistic music journalists with their “rudimentary bashing”, generally fucking shit up.
CONSIDERED ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS PROCEED TO WAVELENGTH AND SHAKE THAT ASS.
From March 2000 Wavelength Zine
